I said DUCK

DUCK

Born to Die

Because of higher mortality among men at every age group, men tend to make up the majority of deaths at all ages, with one exception.
For several years, women have comprised the majority of deaths over the age of 80, for the simple reason that they make up the majority of the over-80 population.

http://www.statcan.ca/Daily/English/061220/d061220b.htm

And while men have traditionally lead the pack in premature death, it seems that women are now catching up. You've come a long way, baby. My cardo rehab class is normally 100% men, and the jokes reflect that. All that is needed is a steam bath and towels.

Copper Shortage Forces Mint Maggot Choice

The US Mint reported today that a shortage of copper leading to escalating prices has forced them to reconsider the minting of copper Lincoln pennies. With the price of copper reaching record levels, the cost of producing a penny is now greater than the value of the coin.

Strange as it sounds, the Mint is now considering the use of Maggots as the baseline currency. Bryan Magoot confirmed "Maggots are plentiful, and can be created with very little cost. We are seriously considering this option."

US Treasury officials refused to comment on the veracity of this story, stating only that "Maggots love the Meat."

More Meat.....

Distended, rendered, and over-
extended....Portion control on a roll....Can you buy in to the concept? The More Meat we eat, the more people we send on the short end.....Shortages...Hunger....Bare bones.
This equation needs a good head shake. What can I do about it, we ask? Try eating a vegetarian meal a few nights a week. Even one for a start. And I don't mean wheat cutlets with texturized protein that tastes like bandaids in guar gum gravy. Like real vegetables or salads, raw or roasted. Consider the alternative.....maggotslovethemeat.

Taking time to do it right

Slammed lately...in the shit like they used to say in the kitchen....one develops a shorthand. Email can be the worst friend a friend can have. One can say so little, and have it misinterpreted by so many.

Speaking of kitchens, my favourite kitchen hell story starts at about 11:00 pm in a sweaty dank kitchen near the end of the night. The cleaning shift of Jamaicans, Grenadians and St. Lucians were not even on the scene. I was baking the desserts for the next day on my graveyard shift. I went to the stock room and pulled a wooden crate of walnuts. They were from China. I started on a few things, then went back to the walnuts to measure out some. I looked up at the wall, and it was crawling with maggots. The entire box of walnuts was filled with maggots and walnuts.

My skin crawls even now thinking about it. The lateness of the hour, the humidity, the little white friends.

I ran to the sink to get a rag from the many dirty rags that were soaking in water and bleach. I looked at them hanging above the sink. They too were crawling with maggots. I poured the water hot and threw in more bleach and put them all back in the sink. Then I threw out the complete box of walnuts. Sort of makes your throat itchy just thinking about it.

Never did the flesh fly ask why

Never did the flesh fly ask why
From their humble larval beginnings, all they ask for is a good meal. Corpse, excrement, under the skin, any warm and moist place will do. No worry, no strategic planning, no religion. Only one mantra: maggots love the meat.