Messer Chups

Metal mood music? Surfin' in Siberia? Oleg Gitarkin and Zombie Girl meet Theremins and sintiesator. Sample titles include Sex Euro and Evils Pop, Bing Bang Bang Bong Kong, and Anton La Vey 66.6 FM. Put on your Satan Jeans and grind it, baby!

Bring Back Bert

How to inject life into the lineup? Bring a little blood back to the ice. Bertuzzi. The word is still magical. Can he play? It's worth a gamble.
He's no Trevor Linden, but hopefully he can still be Todd Bertuzzi prior to the incident.

Take Sominex at night and Sleep Sleep Sleep

Sleep. Strange little word. Circadian rhythms, dreams of the damned, nightsweats, nightshirts, pyjama games, making your bed, then lying in it- so to speak. As we age, we crave it, like we craved sex when we were younger. It is a natural thing to sleep and to want to sleep. Those who sleep better live longer. Those who don't, well....they die sooner. Than what? Those who are still sleeping.

The final sleep.

The Big Sleep.

Jeepers Creepers Sleepers...Where did you get those eyes?

Born to Die

Because of higher mortality among men at every age group, men tend to make up the majority of deaths at all ages, with one exception.
For several years, women have comprised the majority of deaths over the age of 80, for the simple reason that they make up the majority of the over-80 population.

http://www.statcan.ca/Daily/English/061220/d061220b.htm

And while men have traditionally lead the pack in premature death, it seems that women are now catching up. You've come a long way, baby. My cardo rehab class is normally 100% men, and the jokes reflect that. All that is needed is a steam bath and towels.

Copper Shortage Forces Mint Maggot Choice

The US Mint reported today that a shortage of copper leading to escalating prices has forced them to reconsider the minting of copper Lincoln pennies. With the price of copper reaching record levels, the cost of producing a penny is now greater than the value of the coin.

Strange as it sounds, the Mint is now considering the use of Maggots as the baseline currency. Bryan Magoot confirmed "Maggots are plentiful, and can be created with very little cost. We are seriously considering this option."

US Treasury officials refused to comment on the veracity of this story, stating only that "Maggots love the Meat."

Paranoid Man in Cheap Sh*t Room

Paranoid man
In mid 30s
at the height of paranoia
at the zenith of his powers
By bed, replica shooter
zenith dissolving
by his bed replica shooter
in the zenith of his powers
When girls pass, puts his head down,
in the street
His neighbors now are listening to this
Shakes in the chemist's
While buying his vits
Puts his head down when girls pass in the street
Shakes in the chemist
Paranoid man in his late 30s
32, 45
Reaches its summit
Male, mid 30s, white, paranoia
Goes down to the dance
Going down fast.
No heebies, creepies or hallucinagenics
It's the height of paranoia
Male, white, mid-to-late 30s
Serial Number 54129
Going down to the dance
Going down fast Leather jacket, baggy black pants
Very clever
Not as good as it was at 2:30 this afternoon
Nostalgia
Spangles
Late to mid 30s
Goes down to the dance
and truth's mental inertia
Mid 30s man in the grip of paranoia
Just like I told ya
Third kareoka.
Cheap shit actor man
The sky calendar,bar, home, speculates.

From Wikipedia:
In interviews, he ( Mark E. Smith) has cited Colin Wilson,[1] Wyndham Lewis and Philip K. Dick as influences[2], as well as H. P. Lovecraft, whose short story The Colour Out Of Space he read in Christmas 2007 for the BBC Collective website.[3

The Fall 1993 Infotainment Scan
RATING: Drum of Maggots

More Meat.....

Distended, rendered, and over-
extended....Portion control on a roll....Can you buy in to the concept? The More Meat we eat, the more people we send on the short end.....Shortages...Hunger....Bare bones.
This equation needs a good head shake. What can I do about it, we ask? Try eating a vegetarian meal a few nights a week. Even one for a start. And I don't mean wheat cutlets with texturized protein that tastes like bandaids in guar gum gravy. Like real vegetables or salads, raw or roasted. Consider the alternative.....maggotslovethemeat.